**Hunters**
By TJGringo Staff
August 19, 2024
Two hunters were trekking through the forest in pursuit of their prey when suddenly, one of them collapses to the ground. The man appears to be out of breath with glazed eyes. His companion, in a panic, grabs the phone and urgently calls emergency services:
— “My friend is dead! What should I do?”
The operator replies with calm assurance:
— “Calm down, sir, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s really dead.”
A moment of silence ensues, followed by the sound of a gunshot. Returning to the line, the man says:
— “Okay, now what?”
*Author: Anonymous*
**Quick Jokes:**
— What’s the oldest animal?
— The cow.
— Why?
— Because it’s in black and white.
—
*Dad, why did you marry mom?*
*You don’t understand it either, huh, son?*
—
— Aunt Rosario, where are you coming from?
— From the beauty salon.
— It was closed, wasn’t it?
—
What’s the difference between a happy couple and a miserable one?
A couple of minutes.
—
What’s the irony of a boring couple?
Having a passionate romance during the divorce.
—
Why do killer couples always succeed in their relationship?
Because they know how to bury their problems.
—
— What happens if you get expelled from four universities?
— You are losing faculties.
—
*María, you’re cheating on me with the village philosopher.*
*Those are just fallacies, Pedro, simple fallacies.*
—
*Antonio, you no longer listen to me when I talk.*
*Whatever you want, darling, a sandwich or anything; I’m not very hungry either.*
—
One neighbor to another:
— Wow! Your son looks incredibly like his father!
— Yes, I know… but keep your voice down because my husband is at home.
—
*Dad, I have good news and bad news…*
*Start with the good; give me some joy, come on…*
*The airbags in your car work very well!*
*Author: Someone racing against time.*
**Devil in Church**
Before the mass began, people were either conversing quietly or praying. Suddenly, the devil appeared before the congregation. Everyone fled in panic. Everyone… except an old man who didn’t move an inch. The devil glares at him and asks:
— “And you? Aren’t you afraid of me?”
— “Of course not! I was married to your sister for forty years!”
*Author: The Sister.*
**Robber Seeking Witnesses**
A robber bursts into a bank, points his gun at the teller, and demands all the money. With the stash in hand, he turns to one of the customers and asks:
— “Did you see me robbing?”
— “Yes, but just out of the corner of my eye.”
The robber shoots him dead. He then looks at another person nearby and asks:
— “And did you see me robbing?”
— “No, honestly, barely saw anything…”
The robber shoots him too. He then turns to a family standing next to them and inquires:
— “Did you see me robbing?”
The man responds:
— “I didn’t see anything… but my mother-in-law did; she even recorded it on her phone.”
*Author: Happy Father-in-law.*
**Deep River**
A man standing by a riverbank wants to cross and asks another man on the opposite side:
— “Is this river very deep? Can I cross without it covering me?”
— “Yes, of course, it’s a safe and calm river.”
The man steps into the river eagerly and suddenly starts being carried away by the current. He swims desperately and finally makes it across. He confronts the other man angrily:
— “Why did you say the water wouldn’t cover me and that it was safe to cross??”
— “Oh… well… a few minutes ago, a little duck crossed it and the water didn’t cover him at all!”
*Author: A Farmer.*
**Modern Tale**
Once upon a time, two beautiful maidens were strolling around their castle. Suddenly, one heard a faint voice calling:
— “Hey! Look down here!”
The maidens looked down and saw a small frog by the moat.
— “Hello!” said the frog. “I’m actually a singer, but an evil genie turned me into a frog. If one of you kisses me, I’ll turn back into a singer and we’ll live happily ever after.”
So, the most beautiful maiden picked him up and put him in her pocket.
— “Why did you do that? Aren’t you going to kiss him?”
The maiden replied:
— “Are you crazy? You can make way more money with a talking frog than with a singer!”
*Author: A Gen Z Boy.*
**Secondary Article:**
**Local Residents Protest Against Construction in Los Olivos**
In Tijuana, concerns over ongoing construction projects in the Los Olivos neighborhood have led to vocal protests from local residents. Numerous community members have voiced their grievances regarding noise, dust, and potential damage to their homes. Following various complaints, authorities have decided to temporarily suspend the construction work to address the community’s concerns.
—
**Back-to-School Costs Soar for Families**
With the new school year approaching, families are feeling the financial strain of back-to-school expenses. Recent analysis shows that parents may need to spend over 2,000 pesos per child on supplies, uniforms, and other necessary items. This rise in costs is creating a burden for many families, prompting discussions on potential solutions and support measures.
**Other Notable News:**
– America’s soccer team aims to maintain their top performance.
– Arena VG faces backlash for concert cancellations and lack of refunds.
– Senior citizens to showcase their art at CEART Tijuana.
For more updates and news, visit TJGringo.com.